Michelle Sterling of ESMB Tells People What to Think About Me on SPs-R-Us

ESMB's Nurse RatchetLast night, Michelle Sterling of ESMB had an announcement to make.

She said everyone needed to know this about me:

Michelle Sterling of ESMB on Alanzo

Michelle Sterling has known me since early 2007 when I began posting to her Ex-Scientologist Message Board (ESMB). We talked quite a bit, back-channel, on the phone, and online. We were great friends between that time and 2011.

Kevin Mackey, ESMB’s 2nd in command at that time, told me that the ESMB rule that I violated at the time of my first banning – the violation which got me banned – was telling Dave Gibbons, “PandaTermint”, to “Fuck Off”.

There was quite a build-up to that event, of course. I had begun to see a pattern of vicious cruelty and hypocrisy in that group. There was a lot of back-channel scheming against other critics and Exes that you had to swear secrecy to. I watched Michelle ban and discredit a string of over a dozen ex-scientologists, Indies, and critics in the most heartless and cruel way during those 4 years. And then she would continue to do her best to use her message board to discredit them after she had banned them.

In the end, I realized at the time that ESMB was probably the worst place for an Ex-Scientologist to come to after being in the Church.

The Events Just Prior to Getting Myself Banned From ESMB

For those 4 years prior, before this pattern of hers had become apparent to me, I admired Michelle’s judgment and intelligence, and her insight on all kinds of issues.

After her house was raided by the Melbourne police department in 2010, and her computers were confiscated, and she was under threat of criminal charges for being a member of Anonymous – and the custody of her child was threatened – I did what I could to remain an ally for her. But no matter what I did, Michelle and I began to drift apart.

Michelle experienced the worst Scientology Fair Game I’ve ever seen anyone experience, and her demeanor and decision-making changed drastically after that. That experience militarized her. Her cruelty and her scheming dead-agent campaigns on other Exes and critics increased dramatically after she was fair gamed.

Michelle and I still communicated for a few months after I was banned. She told me something that her husband Ian had said about me.

Here’s what Michelle told me at that time.

You don’t think about relationships as much as you think about principles.

This was something I’d never consciously considered about myself. But when she said it, I realized it was probably true. I’ve since thought about it a lot. I even wrote this blog post about what she said to me, 6 years later.

So when she made her announcement about me to all 1956 members of SPs-R-Us last night, I figured I’d better read it.

I’ve thought about what she said – the difference between “my truth” and “my audience”.

And…

It may take me another 6 years to figure this one out.

Or not. I can’t tell yet.

Thanks.

Alanzo

Post Script: Michelle has continued to make announcements about what people should think about me on SPs-r-Us. This morning I saw this comment from her.

So maybe you can see why it is that Michelle and I are no longer friends. And with these kinds of cruel Scientology-style dead agenting campaigns that she has waged against dozens of other Ex-Scientologists and critics over the years, you can see why I don’t believe she is a healthy person for anyone to be around after Scientology. She doesn’t discuss, or even criticize, ideas. She assassinates characters. Because of this, I believe that she is especially unhealthy for someone who is emerging from the Church of Scientology and seeking solace and help after their experiences there.

I believe that ESMB – under Michelle Sterling’s influence – is just about the last place anyone should go after Scientology.

So yeah. I got myself banned from ESMB.

Gladly.

Now maybe you can see why.

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94 Comments on "Michelle Sterling of ESMB Tells People What to Think About Me on SPs-R-Us"

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Richard
Guest

Michelle and Helluvahoax don’t give people enough credit for their observational abilities. I already know Alanzo is a fraud. I just don’t mention it too often since I don’t want to get banned.

Also, when I first started reexamining my scn experience, Alanzo gave me a lot of worthwhile feedback. Granted, that was almost two years ago when Alanzo was still sane and a scn hater. Now he’s stuck with a hanger-on. I’m a stat.

The Oracle
Guest

Laughter!

Virginia McClaughry
Guest

Yep. I see it, Alanzo.

Question: During those scheming behind-the-scenes things you had to swear secrecy to, did we (or our family) ever come up?

Marco
Guest

Alanzo – The Ex Scientologist has been traumatized. They were “re-wired” when they were in the cult. Unless they deprogram – they will suffer from that “re wiring”. There is help out there – check out Margaret Singer You tube videos on cult recovery. It takes 12 years to recover from cults – if you recover at all. One has to work at getting rid of the “implants” Mind control works when standardly applied.

Eileen
Guest

Marco- You are mistaking theories about “deprogramming” for facts. There are one million routes out of a cult. You just have to find one. q1uPz

Virginia McClaughry
Guest

Exactly, Eileen. The “I’m a victim and it’s ok” thing doesn’t work for everyone, and Marco needs to realize that and get off his infallibility of mind-control high horse.

Virginia McClaughry
Guest

Margaret Singer? You’ve got to be kidding. In my opinion, she’s about as useful as a source as Sidney Gottlieb. And I never knew a thing about her until after scientology, so no, you don’t get to take the hysterical “it’s a scientology mind set” route with me on that woman.

Marco
Guest

“hate and fighting” are side effects of Scientology. Buddhists don’t do this – they have the eight fold path….meditation should soothe and comfort hurt feelings….forgive and move on.

Claire M Swazey
Guest

A couple thoughts: Michelle, like most people, doesn’t like being discussed and criticized. I wish she’d have kept that fact (about people not liking it) in mind on some occasions, but it is what it is. So that’s why she wrote about you on FB. This blog post will likely be hurtful to her.

The other is that I honestly don’t think she has much of a bias against indies and FZers. I know that things on ESMB have not been pleasant for them and I could give you my theories on it but that’s a post best saved for another thread or never. I do not think Michelle wants to target or go after those who practice Scn -or $cn- outside Cof$.

Virginia McClaughry
Guest

“…that’s a post best saved for another thread or never.” Oh the sub-understanding in that phrase, lol. Loved it.

Claire M Swazey
Guest

Ever since I stumbled onto the critic’s scene, I’ve felt that the enemy of my enemy thing is a good guiding principle.

I think that when we’re all against CofS that this should suffice. Unhappily, though, it does not. And people (like Shanic69) have told me I’m wrong on that. Then they proceed to hurt each other. This one’s too moderate, this one has no personal beef with this or that practice, this one is a FZer, this one wouldn’t say this or that.

It’s madness. Or it’s Sparta- I always get those two mixed up.

But I think that this is a benchmark that should be utilized and I mourn the fact that it has not.

statpush
Guest

What people like Michelle fail to realize is that Scnists and Ex-Scnists (and everything in-between), are simply trying to find their own way. No one truly knows me like I do. My needs and wants change, sometimes daily.

It’s been three years since I was declared. Am I over it? Well, no, not entirely. I wouldn’t be posting this if I were. And that’s okay.

What interests me and what I write about changes; it evolves.

I firmly BELIEVE, you get yourself into Scn, and you get yourself out of Scn. Those are two rather nebulous concepts, and mean different things to different people. Rarely is it black and white.

For me, I am OUT of Scn (as it exists today) – never to return. That much I am certain of.

I shed the spiritual and mental straightjacket the day I left. Why would I look for another?

Richard
Guest

I began participating on the blogs with Alanzo’s “4 Steps to Stop Thinking and Feeling With Scientology” post. Alanzo had invented his own “process” to help people purge themselves of evil scio-thinking. laughter
I didn’t use his process but was still able to separate fact from fiction and truths from half-truths. I was surprised at how much scn indoctrination and programming I’d unconsciously carried forward.
I still like and use some scn descriptions and terminology. For example, when I get thinking about too many things at once, the idea of being “Buttered all over the Universe” comes to mind. It keeps me in perspective. 🙂

Richard
Guest

Random thoughts

Some people like Gib say they sometimes don’t understand banter or satire on the blogs. In high school I had a good friend who would believe almost any tall tale we’d tell him. Some people might say he was gullible, but then again he might just be a trusting person. I think a lot of ex scn-ists were trusting people.

A fellow named ThetaClear once said on Alanzo’s blog “Most of us were intellectual adolescents when we entered Scientology, having little or no background in science, religion or philosophy.” I fit that category.

If it was my destiny to join a cult, at least I picked one of the best. People who write books about cults rank scn high on the list, right up there with the Unification Church (Moonies) and others. As the old song said “I hold my freak flag high”. (in the song that was relating to being a stoned out hippy) laughter

The Oracle
Guest

Peter Griffiths manages SP’s R Us. But Toys R Us is pure Americana so, the idea came from from this continent. Peter did the cartoon of You on “Natterblog”, the web site mocked up (it was a team effort) to fair game you, me, and Monique Rathbun. Clearly the purpose of the site was to invent enemies and they were seeking an audience of haters just to from a hate club with the three of us as targets. But the blog was not Emma’s , it is maintained by someone else. Emma was used as the face (and set up to take all of the hits) and Peter Griffiths and other (who I have never crossed paths in my life) joined in to get a site up that would damage if not destroy my career. The thing is, these people are prompted to attack others. Set up as targets. While the producers stay in the shadows. They don’t realize they are being stirred up and set on fire and launched to destroy other people’s lives. If they were not getting stirred up by others, they would not have attention on us as these attacks come from out of left field. When Peter and Michelle jumped in to create the web site purposed to destroy my career, and take covert aim at my children have less as a result, they don’t think about fact they have kids too. They have careers too. And actually through their actions, they are being used to prompt me to retaliate and do the same damages back on their lives. And the people using them just as they do not care about my life, do not care about theirs. Peter used to me with a group called “The Spitfire Boys” later, “The White Boys” and “The White Brothers”. They recorded a 45 in Germany called “Mein Kampf”. Emma’s details about her employment are all over the net and her daughter’s life is laid out on Facebook. That she and Peter recklessly set a match to my life by contributing to a web site that all of my clients can see , while they have their own lives and children laid out for anyone to attack, they take advantage of the fact that I am not willing to do the same thing to their family and reputation, they are willing to do to mine. And they do not think about the fact that the people exploiting them to destroy me, are setting them and their family up too for losses, would I retaliate. It is sad they gamble their own reputations and careers, and children’s well being, for the opportunity to harm people they don’t even know. But this is telling of just how far someone can push them and stir them up. If you can’t care about them, you can care about their kids and family who they effect, and try to take responsibility for them. Because other people around them are setting them up for losses. It is best to just keep it moving. They are just being exploited and set up for looses, right along side us. And by responding at all, you are playing into the hands of the hands that guide them. And it really places you in the same boat they float in.

Claire M Swazey
Guest

I am sorry you went through that. People on the internet tend to not always see others as human beings whom they may be affecting with their posts.

The Oracle
Guest

It worked out for the best. I retired early and devoted myself to other causes more worthwhile. But it is always nice to see your name again Claire. You left a lot of people with a lot of good memories. XXOO

The Oracle
Guest

Brought to you by “Natterblog”. http://www.iamjanedoefilm.com/

The Oracle
Guest

The I Am Jane Doe film is about the results of Backpage, the group Village Voice Magazine was a front for for years. There are two more documentaries in the works at this time looking at the profiteers, legal system, and corporate ethics involved, that profited off of the misery of these women and children. Legally. Some bills being drafted for Congress now.

statpush
Guest

Wow, I am speechless. I didn’t know about Natterblog. Just had a browse in the forums. This is on par with the church’s hate sites. These guys are fucked up. Truly.

The Oracle
Guest

Right. And for the record, The headlines that I attacked a “Holocaust Survivor” are completely false. We were speaking of journalist. So, the site was just designed to destroy my career. This was my sentence for refusing to join the witch hunt against Monique Rathbun. Whatever. As I said, it worked out for the best.

Virginia McClaughry
Guest

Yea, they really are.

Virginia McClaughry
Guest

Want to know why they started that thing? Because Mark Rathbun was allowing Oracle, me, and Alanzo, and a number of other people TALK to each other there at his blog (oh, the HORROR! lol) and he was slamming the moderator hammer down on THEM when they tried to come and do their bullying thing. Emma went nuts exactly after when Mark wouldn’t allow her and what Alanzo called her “flying monkeys” come and attack me there.

Heck, early on when I first started commenting there last year, Mark showed us that there was some guy even threatening my life, that’s how nuts these people get.

So, they just couldn’t take the idea that there was somewhere they couldn’t do their bullying/stalking thing and then started the natterblog.

Virginia McClaughry
Guest

To your last sentences, sometimes yes, and sometimes no. It depends. The first post there was attacking me and Alanzo.

The big attempt to DA me was basically pointing out that I believe in telepathy as that’s “proof” enough of…something.

Sometimes, such attacks are actually best left to stand as a testimony to the character of the person who did them.

But in your case, what they did to you there, mostly within their comments sections, was really something to witness. It’s as if they literally went crazy right in front of God and everyone and were so hell-bent they didn’t even notice the selfies they were showing the world.

Again, a standing testimony to their current character.

But, I’d say if Alanzo wants to not have to sit there and ‘take it’ regarding these people, then that is his right and no one should try and take that away from him.

Virginia McClaughry
Guest

Correction – should say “as IF that’s “proof” enough of…something.”

The Oracle
Guest

What I’m saying is the same people using Emma and Peter as weapons, to destroy our careers, family, reputation, those same people do not care any more Emma and Peter, than they care about us. Otherwise they would not be firing them as weapons and setting them up as targets.

The Oracle
Guest

There are people that are masters at thought control, exploiting others, and profiting off of other people’s misery. And they manage to set everyone else up for the losses.

The Oracle
Guest

Beyond that Alanzo, you are “squirreling” if you change the conversation. That’s how deep it goes.

Virginia McClaughry
Guest

Eh? I didn’t follow that. Explain?

The Oracle
Guest

I think in the anti movement three people are allowed to start a conversation and control the thoughts. Karen, Jeffrey and Tony. All thoughts and agreements flow down from that unit. If you start another conversation, or a conversation of your own, you are “squirreling”. If you look at the current anti sites, they are all woven together so “the word” is spread and everyone is supposed to agree. And support the conversations laid down for them. Or. mimic one of the above thought police. Mimicry is greatly appreciated. But if you go rogue or have any other conversation going, you are viewed as some kind of squirrel. Marty always had fresh conversations on his blog and this disturbed a lot of people. They could not wrap their head around it. Even on ESMB they had to install an entire section just for Marty news called “Marty world”, as if the mention of his name had to take you to an altogether corridor of conversation that did not harmonize with the rest. Laughter! Karen installed Ortega and told him what to write or wrote it for him for a long time, until he was a smooth running machine. She also groomed Jeffrey. It’s a cult. And the current “think” is monitored by thought police. If you have an original thought or shift off onto your own thought, you are banned, expelled or attacked as a squirrel. The entire fair gaming of Monique Rathbun was because she thought for herself. The entire fair gaming of Marty is because he thought for himself. It’s akin to squirreling.

Virginia McClaughry
Guest

Ah! It’s an expanded definition of squirreling. I get it now. I think that’s actually pretty accurate, Oracle.

Claire Swazey
Guest

I think Martyworld was probably just created to be a subsection since there were lots and lots of posts about Marty. Major major topic.

The Oracle
Guest

I’m sure for you, Marty was a subject of curiosity. For others, he was just a target on slow days. That they united to publish photos of his home on the net, knowing there are religious fanatics running around, and setting his child up as a target during adoption trials, that was pure cruelty. Had the child been removed from the home, he would have been placed in foster care.

The Oracle
Guest

And that is exactly how they closed down Marty’s blog. Placing his son and wife in danger.

The Oracle
Guest

That was evil not on par with C of S, but way above and beyond. That is when I knew that forum had nothing to do with crusading for justice.

The Oracle
Guest

And the people parked on the forum were a lot scarier and more dangerous than Scientologists.

The Oracle
Guest

Alanzo was just one who distanced himself from that madness. They do not publish about all of the people that fled and dropped off. If you go away “silently” they do not come after you. Just like the fkn C of S. People jumped ship like rats. Alanzo just wanted to keep the conversations going. A lot of people were so disgusted they dropped out of the conversations altogether.

The Oracle
Guest

It is basically a Sea Org Unit. Laughter! And everyone is qualed, as long as you have the “right head”, same thoughts, same purposes, and are obedient.

The Oracle
Guest

A fresh conversation or new viewpoint or idea, is a threat. Any change is a threat. Any individuality is a threat. And Karen is being a copy of L. Ron Hubbard.

Virginia McClaughry
Guest

Good God. I hope not.

The Oracle
Guest

It is not a hidden situation. There are many people that have survived Hubbard by decades. And still, they have not been able to escape his shadow.

Claire Swazey
Guest

You committed the crime of getting an interview on YouTube from another human being, then the latter linked to it in SpsRUs. And somehow that makes you in search of an audience.

SMH.

Even if you were in search of an audience-that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Anyone who writes a book, op ed piece, anything public- is looking for an audience. Because they have something to say.

This world is so centered on communication now. Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, blogs, cable tv, online articles and their comments sections, message boards, podcasts, emails, texting, gotomeeting.com…Things have changed so much in the past generation. There are so many options to communicate and people are really into it.

Are my fellow critics and exes really going to try to determine WHICH people have tge right to be heard and with which method? Seriously?

Chee Chalker
Guest

You do seem to be a bit of a contrarian.

I don’t get over to ESMB much as I am a Never In (thank God for that), so I can’t really comment on what’s going on over there, but
I will say what kind of church fair games former members?

I happened to catch the first part of your vlog with Andy and it was very interesting
Hope to watch the rest later on

I don’t know why it’s a bad thing to be labeled as a ‘bitter ex’. Andy seems to think this is going to be bad for Leah’s career or psyche, but IMO there is nothing wrong with taking a stance against something bad

Are former members of Jim Jones’ cult (the ones who got away) bitter exes?
Are former Nazis bitter? (Sorry to use the go-to Nazi/Scientology comparison)
Are former employees of Enron wrong for being vocally bitter? (Enron was a corporate cult IMO)

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