Healing From Scientology Abuse is Not a Social Media Activity

1440342714500264881If you were not abused in Scientology, and you say so in the various social media platforms on the Internet, then you can be accused of being heartless to those who were. A common way to avoid that is to forget your own viewpoint and to take up other peoples’ problems of abuse as your own, and to spend years championing “justice” for someone else’s suffering.

If you were abused in Scientology, and you talk about the abuse you suffered on internet social media, you usually have to repeat yourself, over and over, so people understand your background. Yet repeating your own stories of abuse over and over for years never allows you to get over it.

In fact, the Internet can become one big dirty needle drill, where whatever individual viewpoint you express, no matter how carefully you craft your message, is misunderstood, or twisted, or thrown back at you with contempt. And if your thoughts are TOO individual, and they cross some clique’s party line, they can become a source of ridicule and all-out cyber-bullying because your own unique and individual viewpoint threatens some group’s cause, or some individual’s ego, or some blogger’s income through pledgie buttons and t-shirt sales.

The most insidious aspect of trying to heal from abuse on the Internet is having to make Scientology abuse entirely unique and vastly more horrible than any other kind of abuse that anyone else has suffered anywhere. Because law enforcement in the US has done nothing about Scientology abuse, and is not likely too, either, then whipping up huge numbers of people to decry that abuse was a strategy to get law enforcement to act. This strategy distorts Scientology abuse for those who have been abused, and even for those who have suffered little or no abuse in Scientology.

Hanging out too long in Post-Scientology social media creates a distorted view of Scientology abuse. Yes, disconnection occurs. And it is horrible. But so does divorce, infidelity, and betrayals of all kinds. Human beings suffer abuse of all kinds all over the world. And part of healing from that abuse – and putting and keeping it behind you – is done through putting the abuse you suffered in perspective, and keeping it in perspective every time you are reminded of it.

For these reasons, and many more, healing from abuse in Scientology is not something best accomplished on Internet social media such as message boards and blog commenting communities.

Healing from any abuse is a deeply intimate and uniquely personal activity.

It is not a social one.

Read this:

“…”If you are a victim who comes forward and resolution through the court provides a conviction, it will not undo what happened to you. You will still have to heal. If you come forward and there is insufficient evidence for a conviction, that is a reality you will have to face, and you can find a way to begin recovering in spite of that. If you are given the choice to not prosecute and spare yourself the trauma of a trial, highly publicized or not, you can make your choice, go forward with your life, and begin to heal. If you never come forward to the authorities, tell no one or only someone close to you, you can begin to recover and overcome what has happened to you. Under any of these circumstances, there will always be those who doubt you and nothing will erase what has happened to you. That does not have to stop you from healing.’

“The most important thing is to try to begin recovering from within. I don’t think you can heal from outside events happening. Waiting for the actions of others— be it the courts, your family, the opinions of those you care about, or the words of strangers—places you in a situation that you cannot control. And despite what was done to you, you do still have control.”

The Girl, Samantha Gelmer

Because of its inherent peer pressure and even cyber-bullying, hanging out too long on Post-Scientology Internet social media can cause you to give up control over your own mind, and your own view of your own life. Only when you are allowed to retain your own view of your own life can you ever hope to keep any abuse you suffered in Scientology in its proper perspective – your own perspective.

And to heal from it for good.

The Internet is great for learning about the things you were deceived about in Scientology. Use the Internet to learn what you need to learn.

Then move away from anything having to do with Scientology – as far away as you possibly can.

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Miss Tia
Guest

This is something that really needed to be said. I hope many who need to hear this get this message and truly ‘get’ it. It’s also something, I’m ashamed to say, I never considered myself when people would be recounting again and again the abuse they had been subjected too. How/why that didn’t register with me is something I’m going to have to reflect upon so I can try to ensure I don’t do that again in the future. I can’t put that fully on group think either, and even with being immersed in group think I need to take responsibility.

I know with my own childhood abuse, if I were to recount it again and again I’d never be able to function and/or have the coping skills I’ve attained. I can rattle a few examples without causing myself harm, but if I were to repeat things over and over, it would cause more harm than good.

I’m sure, in the initial flush of joining a group of ex-scientologists and watchers, one CAN perhaps feel it is healing and freeing to discuss what happened to them with those who truly understand. Empathy, human kindness, someone listening, can help you greatly at times. But you’re correct in your assessment and conclusion. It can distort, magnify, you could end up being attacked, or bullied. Your initial abuse, could get added abuse heaped upon by those whom you confided in. That’s a difficult concept to even think about, but it is a true one.

Virginia
Guest

I think that if people do want to talk about whatever, they should not try to do it in forums where further abuse is allowed and even encouraged. Start your own blog, moderate comments that continue the abuse, and make your own experience a positive one for you. I also think that none of that should ever take the place of what needs to happen within, where it really matters.

statpush
Guest

It’s difficult to say what role Social Media has in one’s recovery. For me it was an integral part, though not without its own brand of drama. I’ve rarely posted comments on the Bunker. The few times I have I ended up either defending my post, or going head-to-head with a 12 year old. Not very rewarding or even informative.

A good ex-Scn blog, with an intelligent, balanced community can serve like group therapy. Early on, Marty’s blog was invaluable. Rinder’s blog still is. In addition to the benefit of discussing one’s Scn experience with someone who truly understands, it stands as a historical record of journeys out of the Scn labyrinth.

Things change, people change, sometimes often, sometimes unpredictably. Everyone’s needs are different. Social media may be beneficial for some, not so for others. Anyone participating in blog discussions needs to ask themselves – Was it worth it? Did I get anything out of it?

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